As a writer I encourage you to write your own wedding vows. When I come to you for an initial consultation; I would like for you to be able to communicate your desires and commitment in words that tell your love story and why you want to be married. Marriage obviously isnt a step to be taken lightly. It requires a sense of respect, honor, and love enough to take it into the future years to come.
So ask yourself these questions-
Why did you decide to get married?
What hard times have you gone through together?
What have you supported each other through?
What challenges do you envision in your future?
What do you want to accomplish together?
What makes your relationship tick?
What did you think when you first saw your fiance?
When did you realize you were in love?
What do you most respect about your partner?
How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate?
What about them inspires you?
What do you miss most about them when you’re apart?
What qualities do you most admire in each other?
If you can both answer these questions honestly and fairly together you can most certainly write your own vows. They can be as simple, or as ornate as you like. Its YOUR wedding….thats why we here at Interfaith Clergy Services take so much pride in working with you to customize your day to be as special as you are.
7 Rules of Writing Your Own Vows
1) Be honest with each other. If your not going to be honest about how you feel about each other, well….
2) Take your time. To fully write vows there’s a lot to think about. You are promising yourselves to each other in a unique and special way. See yourselves in the future, not just in the moment of the wedding.
3) Be forgiving. Nothing is ever going to go smoothly when planning a wedding, no matter how simple the wedding is. You’re going to disagree. The easy part about writing vows is that you can write them together so they reflect you both as a couple, or singularly to reflect your own personal commitment to your partner.
4) Romance! Everyone wants their vows to be romantic. The internet is full of ideas on writing vows, check out poetry like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, or even Shakespeare for ideas. Putting forth the romance lends elegance and grace to the final copy of those vows.
5) Be honest with yourself. This is a commitment to not only your partner, but yourself as well. Take the time to recognize all the love and depth of that love for the person you are going to marry.
6) Dont make promises you cant keep. In other words be realistic.
7) Have fun! I dont think I really have to explain this one.
These are my 7 rules for writing your own vows. If you need help after our consultation you can always pick my brain for more ideas and further guidance.
xoxox Rev. Donna